Happy. As with everything in this world, happiness is relative. Something that makes 90% of earth’s population happy might (certainly) not make me happy. And what makes misanthropes happy are often seen as odd, weird or strange. All relative. From the given example, relative is often described as different but that is not the case. But enough philosophical stuff. This post is about ‘happy’ people and ‘unhappy’ people.
‘Happy’ people
Misanthropes have no problem with the concept of being happy. Feeling good is a human experience that happens; expectedly and unexpectedly. Job satisfaction, financial rewards and other life experiences all bring about the feeling of happiness. The problem for us here at the misanthropy blog is chronically happy people. There is probably one reading this blog right now, maybe even sitting in your chair. Don’t stop reading just yet; I’d like you to see our side of the story.
Chronically happy people are often naïve. Naïve because they just ‘go-with-the-flow’. That is a perfectly good way of life if you are a canoe but as a human being living among other (unpredictable, unreliable, un*, etc) people, you cannot be chronically happy and not get taken advantage of. Among all the ‘uns’ are unscrupulous people and they hide in plain sight masquerading as friends waiting for that one chance to get you to do something because you and they are ‘friends’. Once you get on that rollercoaster, you are stuck on it for a long time, because being chronically happy and saying no to a friend is just a big no-no (no pun).
A lot of chronically happy people are also stuck with the idea that “People are inherently good”. People are actually inherently bad and will always take the opportunity to better themselves at the cost of you. “Dog eats dog world” is what you should remember. Always looking for the best in someone might not be a bad idea, but would you still look for the best in a serial killer? A child abuser? No, you won’t because these types of people have committed crimes that are punished according to societal standards. Yet if your friends (or boss, or work colleagues) keep on abusing your trust, you see your misguided loyalty as “I’m helping my friend” or “I am doing them a favor”. To a misanthrope, a discretion is a discretion.
The last thing worth mentioning about chronically happy people is the theory they love to propagate: “the world is what you make of it”. Valid point if you think about it because each of us are a world unto ourselves. You have an ‘eco-system’ around you and this one interacts with others, similar and different. And that is the problem with the theory, you can influence your sphere but the people around you also have an effect on your sphere, whether you like it or not. In a misanthrope’s opinion a rose-colored glasses outlook on life will only bring unwanted troubles. If you lie down with dogs you will get fleas.
Note: We do NOT condone serious stuff like child abuse. That is wrong in any one’s reality.
‘Unhappy people’
You can assume a person is happy by looking at certain external characteristics. A smile or laughter. So what makes an unhappy person? No smile or laughter? Thing is, you can’t really tell happiness or unhappiness just be looking at a person. It is just a perception you have. And many happy people have the wrong perceptions about misanthropes (read ‘unhappy’ people).
Words often associated with misanthropes: depressed, unhappy, withdrawn and rude. Some of them are true and depending on the misanthrope all of them could be true because these feelings are caused by the thing(s) misanthropes tend to avoid: people. And when dealing with chronically happy people these feelings become even more apparent.
So you, chronically happy persona, are probably thinking how can I make someone else feel all these things? How can I, being my joyful self, be the cause all these negative emotions. Let me explain.
Misanthropes tend to be more open-minded about humanity. Aware of it’s failings as a species and aware of the results that these failings can bring. If we are unable to find a person who share these sentiments, we prefer our own company because mixing with people often (if not always) leaves a bad taste with us.
Here are a few myths about misanthropes:
1. Misanthropes are always depressed. No more depressed than normal people. Being depressed happens from time to time to everyone, even the chronically happy. Just because we keep to ourselves and don’t mix with every person we meet doesn’t make us depressed, it makes us selective with who we interact because some people will make you regret meeting (and talking to) them the minute they open their mouths. So if you know a misanthrope who looks depressed, don’t bother them. You just might be the problem.
2. Misanthropes are always unhappy. Again, not more than the average person. There are no definitive signs that can tell you someone is unhappy, unless they say it outright. I might be quiet and withdrawn but that makes me happy because I don’t like talking. You might enjoy a drink now and again; does that make you an alcoholic?
3. Misanthropes are mean people. If you don’t like hearing the truth then I guess I am mean. The phrase ‘tell me the truth’ is an oxymoron for many people because they don’t want to hear the truth; they want to hear their truth out of your mouth. An example: ‘Does my hair look good?’ + No = Upset person. Why? It’s because people want to hear the ‘truth’ but if they get it, they cannot accept it. And if you do lie (and disregard your own morality) you will hear about it somewhere down the line.
These three points tie in perfectly with misanthropy because by avoiding people, you avoid judgement. There might be assumptions about who you are, there might be stories about what you do but there are no facts to indicate you are indeed any of the above. Misanthropes stick together and in that way we know that the people we do associate with are like us – open-minded, logical about things, realistic about people and this makes us chronically happy, although we don’t always show it.
In conclusion
These are the opinions of a few misanthropes and the experiences they have. It might not be a reflection on society as a whole.
